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27 Powerful Reflection Questions for the New Year! (A Ritual for Transition)

The more I sit with a moment or event, the more I am able to draw out the lessons, wisdom or gratitude for that moment. In the hustle, rush and chaos of our everyday lives taking these moments to actually treat ourselves with some time can do wonders!

Stepping into next year with clarity, gratitude and wisdom is something that many will forget to do amongst it all. Here’s to choosing to be mindful, to care about ourselves in order to serve others! Aho to that!


So, here we go!

Here’s some simple and very effective questions and exercises you can do by yourself or with a tribe of close friends. Just set aside some time so that you are present with the practice treat it in the same way you would a meditation, yoga class or intimate conversation with a friend. Maybe set aside 1 hour to do it properly!

Make sure you be as creative and as YOU as possible for this. Draw, paint, write, sing or act out your responses. The more you put in, the more you get out! 🙂

Visualise the year that has been:

Take 10 minutes to meditate and start on the 1st of January to visualise yourself going through your year. Noticing any major events that come up and moments that stand out. As if you are playing a recording of your year back. What has your journey through this year been?

  1. If you were to list 4 core themes that represent this year for you, what would they be? (ie. presence, exploration, connection)
  2. What are the top 10 things, people or events you are grateful for this year? (maybe you’d like to write them a little note?)
  3. What 3 achievements for the year are you most proud of?
  4. Which 5 people did you most enjoy spending time with?
  5. What activities made you lose track of time?
  6. Is there a goal or intention that didn’t transpire for you this year?
  7. Did you learn any new skills this year?
  8. Did you create anything cool this year?
  9. Any cool or funny compliments that you received and won’t forget?
  1. What would you say is the most important lesson you learnt this year?
  2. Why are you most proud about what it is you wrote above?
  3. Out of all the places you went or experienced, where did you feel most creative and alive?
  4. What are the common traits among those 5 people you mentioned above? What type of people are you most in “flow” around?
  5. Those activities that you loose track of time with, have you acknowledged these before? Do you have regular time to do these?
  6. That goal or intention that didn’t transpire for you? Why do you feel this might have been? What can you learn from this?
  7. Are there any activities you found yourself doing this year that felt icky, out of alignment or clearly zapped more energy than they gave?
  8. Is the way you operated your year in any regard in contradiction to what you believe your values to be?
  9. Looking back, what can you learn about how you managed and nurtured these 10 areas of your life:
    i. Health & Fitness?
    ii. Intellect?
    iii. Emotions?
    iv. Spirituality?
    v. Friendly & Family Relationships?
    vi. Intimate Relationships?
    vii. Wealth & Career?
    viii. Experiences & Fun?
    ix. Creativity?
    x. Contribution?
  1. Right now looking forward, what would you like your overarching theme to be for 2019? (ie. exploration, remembering, commitment)
  2. What stands out as a key opportunity for personal growth next year?
  3. Who do you want to spend more time with next year?
  4. What new skill do you want to learn or improve?
  5. What personal attribute or quality would you like to sharpen or live more?
  6. What is one story you will stop telling yourself next year? What new story will you replace this with?
  7. What is the one goal that excites you the most for next year?

There you go! If you went through this mindfully and as honestly as you can (alone or in a group), hopefully you will feel sense of closure and appreciation for this year and a little excitement for the year ahead!

I’d love to know if you have a process or ritual you go through at the change of year? Do you have any other questions you like to ask yourself or connect with? Let me know in the comments or send me an email at al@aljeffery.com.

Enjoy the process,
Al

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A Balanced Way To Organise Your Morning Routine (without creating more stress!)

It’s a new year, I’ve set my intentions and planted the seeds that I want to germinate. Now how do I create a morning routine or ritual that will allow me to be effective and meet targets, be flowing so I can feel balanced and centered and fit in the music, dance, learning and adventure I want to?

“Time is a created thing. To say ‘I don’t have time,’ is like saying, ‘I don’t want to.

– Lao Tzu

I’ve been playing with my time system, “schedules,” routines and rituals for the last couple of years to see what “flows” best for me. It has always been the bouncing between being effective, productive and getting things done, and being fluid, spontaneous and listening to the pull before taking action.

There is a fine balance somewhere! I know it!

Wanted to start by sharing where this principle came from.

As a facilitator, I believe my two main jobs are to create and hold the space and to plant a very clear intention into the space. If I’ve done that well enough and then stay present and follow my intuition, the result is usually astounding.

After seeing how this played out time and time again in a room, I decided to try and apply this to the way I facilitate my own life. Why not?!

Here’s how some people plan their routines or rituals.

1. Set specific times
2. Place specific tasks next to the times
3. Get stressed out when they aren’t performing or have a blockage at that time
4. Have everything back up due to something running over time, then trying to stick to the “plan” and getting stressed over it all
5. Wondering what happened, why they even bothered and resort to believing morning routines simply aren’t for them!

Here’s how I’ve come to manage my routine and time effectively and fluidly.

Push vs Pull paradigm

Before I share this, this will only make sense and fit into your map of the world if you firstly have a belief that sometimes pushing an action is not as powerful or timely as getting pulled into action. You also need to have a belief that forcing things is sometimes the cause of the friction that leads to stress, inaction or ineffective action. You need to believe that sometimes nature and our own nature has a way of guiding and giving us signs that unless we create space for them, will be unheard and disempowered.

A snapshot of one example of this method

Instead of stating specific times that specific tasks will get done, create spaces or periods of time where you have certain intentions on what the end results will be. This is without defining how the end result will be achieved.

For example, my morning routines used to be:

Get up at 6am, drink lemon water, do my yoga, then meditate, then visualisations, then affirmations, then 750 words, then breakfast, then…

Very structured and you can imagine if I forget to or just don’t feel like doing one of these things I can feel like I’ve let myself down.

Instead, now I just create a space for 5:30–6am where my intention is to get into my body. I might do yoga, I might play in a tree, do Qi Gong, or something else. I can do anything knowing that I have this amount of time and my intended end result is getting in my body. The how doesn’t really matter.

I can then apply that to the rest of my morning routine and to select times during the day where I have space to be a little more “flowy.”

So start by working out how you want to feel after your morning routine, then what will achieve that feeling for you? Create spaces, plan the intention and be open to the how being different each day.

Enjoy the process,

Al

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Coach, Mentor, Facilitator – What’s the Difference (Some Core Distinctions)

In a world where information is ubiquitous, there is an increased importance on the role of a mentor, coach, facilitator or guru (plus many other possible labels!). When experiential knowledge is becoming more crucial in the workplace and in the community in general, how do you draw the knowledge out of an experience so that it is useable?

Many people are a little bit unsure what the difference is between these roles and so am I, quite honestly. This is an attempt to explore the difference between them from my experience of being in these different shoes and navigating the space for my own guidance also.

(What I’m sharing is based entirely on my own experience in navigating the space and operating as a coach, mentor and facilitator to many people personally.)

I see there being two components to each of these relationships:

  1. The ‘experience dynamic.’
    This is looking at what level of experience in any given field each person in the relationship is coming from. Does one person have more experience in this field than the other?

  2. The ‘knowledge exchange dynamic.’
    This is looking at how the knowledge is come to within the relationship. Is there one person teaching the other or is it a mutual partnership?

Mentoring Relationships

I have had multiple mentors for separate purposes since I was 13. These were people that had extensive experience in something that I was pursuing or were in a position I wanted to be in. They had knowledge directly relative to where I am and want to be that they could share.

In my experience, ‘mentors’ had advice, tips and tricks that could be shared in a specific realm that meant I could learn from their mistakes and successes. This was more industry knowledge and knowledge directly relative to the ‘how to’ of something I was pursuing.

Experience Dynamic = More than me
Exchange Dynamic = Giving knowledge and advice

Coaching Relationships

A coach in my experience is someone that whether they have been where you are going or not, they’re able to identify patterns, work with human behaviour and guide you to your own conclusions for your own scenario.

They more so guide you through the process to have you come to your own understandings and knowledge. These people do have slight experience in your domain (whether it be business, media, the arts, etc) so that they are able to relate on a certain level.

They really do believe that you have the answers within you and so prefer not to give you the answers but have you come up with them yourself.

Experience Dynamic = Slight experience necessary
Exchange Dynamic
 = Balance of realised and given knowledge

Mentoring Relationships

I have had multiple mentors for separate purposes since I was 13. These were people that had extensive experience in something that I was pursuing or were in a position I wanted to be in. They had knowledge directly relative to where I am and want to be that they could share.

In my experience, ‘mentors’ had advice, tips and tricks that could be shared in a specific realm that meant I could learn from their mistakes and successes. This was more industry knowledge and knowledge directly relative to the ‘how to’ of something I was pursuing.

Experience Dynamic = More than me
Exchange Dynamic = Giving knowledge and advice

Coaching Relationships

A coach in my experience is someone that whether they have been where you are going or not, they’re able to identify patterns, work with human behaviour and guide you to your own conclusions for your own scenario.

They more so guide you through the process to have you come to your own understandings and knowledge. These people do have slight experience in your domain (whether it be business, media, the arts, etc) so that they are able to relate on a certain level.

They really do believe that you have the answers within you and so prefer not to give you the answers but have you come up with them yourself.

Experience Dynamic = Slight experience necessary
Exchange Dynamic
 = Balance of realised and given knowledge

Facilitator Relationships

This is the role I prefer to play with most of my clients at the moment. This is someone that really believes in ‘empowered learning.’ Someone that believes that their client truly does have the answers within them as well as the ability to find their own answers. “Teach a man (or woman) to fish” analogy!

Not only does a facilitator guide their ‘partner’ to come to their own realizations, they do it in such a way that their ‘partner’ is now fully empowered to take themselves through that journey by themselves. The role of a facilitator is almost silent and not dependable. Very often growth or transformation occurs and it feels like the facilitator was simply sitting in the room :p

As a facilitator’s role is really about creating a safe space and then allowing the ‘partner’ to dive in to uncover what is really there, they do not need wisdom or knowledge in the area of focus. They simply know human behaviour, emotional intelligence and space creation incredibly well.

Experience Dynamic = None necessary
Exchange Dynamic = Realised knowledge


This has been my experience of the difference between these relationships that I hope may help navigate your search for the right support in your growth journey. Being clear on what and who you are seeking is super important in finding the right person.

I’d love to hear how you differentiate each role (if you do). Leave a comment below or feel free to email me at al@aljeffery.com

Be well,
Al

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